SCI FI Atomic Submarine (1960) The terrific cast is reason enough to hail this film's laser-disc debut. Think of it: Arthur Franz, Tom Conway, Dick Foran, Bob Steele, Brett Halsey, Joi Lansing -- only ace producer Alex Gordon (She Creature, Voodoo Woman) could have assembled this gallery of genre-film stalwarts. The woolly, alien cyclops is another enhancement, as is the ultra-simple, atmospheric design of the spaceship's interior. All-in-all, a must-see, B-movie experience! Acting: B+ Atmosphere: B+ Fun: A+ RETURN TO TOP Atomic War Bride (1960) This Is Not a Test (1961) A note to our readers who think of Teenage Monster and Hot Rod Gang as "obscurities": You don't know curio-cinema until you've broached these offerings. Only the title-heavy tag-team of Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video could unearth these jagged gems. Billed as "2 Super Science Thrillers From the World of Tomorrow," this revealing double-bill kicks off with the 1960 Yugoslavian oddity, Atomic War Bride, starring, produced and directed by people with lots of consonants in their names. It opens with a wedding, but in lieu of bells, the ceremony is buzzed by enemy planes. The ominous call to nuclear war curtails the honeymoon as the bridegroom is mobilized by the military before an "I do" can even pass his lips. The would-be hubby opposes the conflict, and comes within a whisker of being executed for his pacifism. It's a strange, harsh little flick, bearing hardly a trace of Hollywood influence. Perhaps the best way to describe it is as "Yugoslavian," and leave it at that. It really is something you need to see for yourself. Far more interesting is the 1961 American cheapie, This Is Not A Test. There's no budget to speak of, and that's the interesting part. A bunch of unknowns and amateurs (I'll confess I know virtually nothing about anyone involved) pooled their resources and dared to tackle a then-controversial topic -- nuclear holocaust -- with the most meager finances. In fact, the austerity ensures a bleakness that works in the film's favor. They could have made a nudie, a gore flick or a surf documentary, but chose instead to address the degeneration of man's nature in the face of imminent, inescapable death. It ain't high art, by any means, but the effort shows. Interestingly, the movie is decidedly apolitical, and it's giving nothing away to reveal that the film is a total downer (it's about nuclear attack, for Pete's sake!). These are decidedly non-Hollywood, uncommercial choices. Seamon Glass plays a highway cop who gets the red alert over his patrol car radio. He sets up a roadblock on a mountain road and the folks he forces to the curb constitute a cross-section of humanity (a cuckold husband, a hep cat, an old-timer and his granddaughter, even an escaped looney) who gradually reveal their baser proclivities and virtues as the end approaches. One or two of the cast appear to possess fundamental acting abilities, but Glass, whose role is central, seems never even to have watched a movie, much less acted in one. (In fact, he appeared in bit parts in numerous high-profile films including Spartacus and Deliverance.) This unaffectedness actually helps in some scenes, lending just a bit of documentary-like grit. For the most part, the performances are amateurish, the continuity is tenuous (one character mysteriously disappears in longshot and reappears in closeup in the cab of a truck) and the dialogue is priceless ("If the world really is ending, and me and my chick want to end it standing in front of a bar, it's nobody's business!"). Also a part of this Atom-age nostalgia package are six similarly themed short subjects, including You Can Beat The A Bomb, and the infamous Duck and Cover starring everyone's favorite nuclear survivor, Bert the Turtle. http://www.image-entertainment.com Acting: C- Atmosphere: B+ Fun: B- RETURN TO TOP Attack of the 50-ft. Woman (1958) The most notorious of her many low-rent films proudly showcases Allison Hayes' large body of work. Scenes of the sky-high Hayes strutting her stuff while wrapped in a linen tarpaulin are certainly worth the price of admission. Toss in precocious Yvette Vickers as the town tart, a big, bald translucent alien and Ronald Stein's rollicking honky-tonk score and you've got untoppable B movie entertainment. Nathan Juran directs under the alias Nathan Hertz, managing to add just a bit of filmic zip to an otherwise embarrassing assignment. (Hertz/Juran lingers just a little too long on those gigantic, crusty, papier mache hands). The always-watchable Allison Hayes approaches her part with a sultry vigor the production scarcely deserves. Acting: C+ Atmosphere: C- Fun: A+ RETURN TO TOP Beast of Yucca Flats (1961) Celluloid proof that Ed Wood DID NOT make the worst films of all time. From Anthony Cardoza and Coleman Francis, longtime dwellers on the cult-movie fringe, this quasi-nuclear horror stars Wood stock player Tor Johnson as a Soviet scientist caught in an H-bomb blast. He survives, and stumbles pitifully through 57 minutes of grainy, silent footage that purports to tell an indecipherable story. The loony narration contains laughable ruminations that have nothing to do with what's happening on screen. To wit: "Flag on the moon!" and "A man runs, someone shoots at him ... progress." Acting: D Atmosphere: D- Fun: D+ RETURN TO TOP Buck Rogers (1939) The funny papers pre-eminent spaceman, Buck Rogers, preceded his swashbuckling counterpart, Flash Gordon into print by several years. As far as the silver screen was concerned however, Buck was a late bloomer. The serial bearing his name debuted in 1939, three years after Buster Crabbe became one with Flash Gordon in the minds of moviegoers. Who else to play Buck but a proven heroic commodity like Crabbe? Buck Rogers starring Buster as the Rip Van Winkle-like hero is not as good as Flash Gordon, conspicuously in the absence of Charles Middleton as Ming, the Merciless, one of filmdom's most enjoyably villainous portrayals. But, directed by the venerable serial team of Ford Beebe and Saul Goodkind, it packs more than enough entertainment into its 12 chapters to satisfy any discriminating serial fan. Acting: B Atmosphere: B Fun: B+ RETURN TO TOP The Cosmic Man (1958) Take The Day the Earth Stood Still, remove the budget, the script, the atmosphere and the stars and what do you get? ... The Cosmic Man. Wearing its heart on its frayed sleeve, this paper thin, no-budget message thriller features John Carradine and his booming baritone as an ambassador from another world whose mission of peace is misunderstood. Further damaging the enjoyment of this cheap but earnest film is the fact that it was thought lost for many years. Its reputation as a missing sci fi classic snowballed, and it invariably disappointed fans upon its rediscovery. Acting: C+ Atmosphere: C- Fun: C- RETURN TO TOP The Crawling Eye (1958) Perhaps the best-remembered of the spate of British sci fi films starring beefy American Forrest Tucker, this applaudably moody, albeit lurid item slithers into a fresh video release. (How many shockers of the same vintage feature a decapitation in their opening seconds?) Based on The Trollenberg Terror, a popular British teleplay, the film features Janet Munro as a timid telepath who teams with Tucker to forestall the ocular invasion. The isolated Alpine setting is suitably forlorn and Tucker, squeezing this film into a foreign foray that included The Cosmic Monsters and The Abominable Snowman is grouchily appealing. The tentacled eyeballs are kitchily intriguing if a tad clumsily handled. Acting: B+ Atmosphere: A- Fun: B RETURN TO TOP The Cyclops (1958) When husband Dean Parkin vanishes atop a barren Mexican mesa, shrieker par excellence Gloria Talbott conscripts Lon Chaney and James Craig to aid in the search. Tragically, hubby has been transformed into a bald giant with a face melted by radiation. And this is one of Bert I. Gordon's BETTER films. Acting: C+ Atmosphere: D Fun: A RETURN TO TOP Deluge (1933) Believed lost for decades, this pioneering special effects extravaganza has been rescued from obscurity by the folks at Englewood Entertainment. The only print of this American film known to survive is a European copy dubbed in Italian (with English subtitles). That makes for slow-going during the film's early exposition. But once that mountainous tidal wave makes sauce of the Big Apple, contemporary viewers will be impressed by what these trail-blazing effects-meisters were capable of 70-some years ago. Acting: C+ Atmosphere: B Fun: B RETURN TO TOP First Spaceship On Venus (1960) This sober attempt at intelligent sci fi may be tough sledding for American baby-boomers reared on giant spiders and rampaging lizards. Based on a novel by one of Europe's premier fantasy writers, Stanislaw Lem, this East German/Polish co-production deserves kudos for endeavoring to feature minorities. Black, Asian and female astonauts are showcased prominently. Unfortunately, awkward dubbing and muddled storytelling undermine the film's credibilty. It's most striking attractions are sets and effects that greatly resemble the impressionistic science fiction paperback art -- particularly that of Richard Powers -- on newsstands at the time of the movie's release. Acting: C- Atmosphere: B- Fun: C- RETURN TO TOP Flight to Mars (1951) A juicy color print of this early entry in the outer space sweepstakes is once again available. Featuring a hearty assemblage of comfortable B film faces -- Cameron Mitchell, Arthur Franz, Marguerite Chapman, Virginia Huston -- this flick is a glowing example of the sincere space naivete that lends so greatly to the charm of sci fi films of this vintage. When a flack-jacketed troop of explorers lands on the red planet, they encounter conniving Morris Ankrum and his Martian minions, outfitted in the same crayola-colored flight suits from Destination Moon. Their civilization is dying and escape earthward is their final recourse. A great deal of fun despite the fact that nothing much really seems to occur. Acting: B Atmosphere: B Fun: A RETURN TO TOP The Giant Behemoth (1959) Released on video in the wake of Spielberg's anxiously-awaited Jurassic Park sequel, this weak entry in the rampaging dinosaur chronology is likely to make few waves. The historical importance of the film rests on the credentials of its director, Eugene Lourie, a former art director who helmed three of the best remembered giant lizard flicks -- Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953), Gorgo (1961) and The Giant Behemoth. The latter two are British-made and their rushed special effects don't hold a candle to Ray Harryhausen's groundbreaking Beast. Crusty Gene Evans is the token American tossed into a cast rounded out by Andre Morell and Leigh Madison. Acting: B- Atmosphere: B- Fun: B- RETURN TO TOP Kronos (1957) Boasting an eminently watchable cast, and a truly offbeat animated menace, this strangely engrossing slice of sci fi has been re-released on video. Shock film stalwart Jeff Morrow (The Giant Claw, This Island Earth, The Creature Walks Among Us) is on hand to combat the energy-guzzling alien titan, but John Emery nearly steals the show with a sly performance as a possessed professor. Kronos itself (himself?) is rather unique to low-budget sci fi. The gigantic robot is little more than a stack of boxes with an antenna plume, and his animated ramblings are far from convincing. But his very inhumanity coupled with the burbling, futuristic sounds he emits make for an enjoyably foreboding presence. Ten bucks to anyone who really understands the scientific theory postulated by Morrow that leads to the monster's demise. Acting: B Atmosphere: B Fun: A RETURN TO TOP Lost Continent (1968) Only die-hard Hammer completists will rejoice at the letterbox release of this, one of the studios more dubious offerings. Not to be confused with George Pal's equally confounding Atlantis: The Lost Continent, the sunken civilization featured in this filmic misfire is a platoon of Spanish conquistadors ensconced for centuries in an undersea kingdom inhabited by giant crabs and humongous men 'o war. Eric Porter and Hildegard Knef are among the hapless cruisers who tumble to the Spaniard's predicament. While credibility is rarely an issue when viewing films concerned with mythical civilizations, situations herein are never less than farcical, and most assuredly not scary. Acting: C- Atmosphere: D Fun: D+ RETURN TO TOP Missile to the Moon (1959) Director Richard Cunha maintains it was Astor Pictures that suggested he remake their notorious schlock masterpiece Cat-Women of the Moon. Cunha's film may not be intrinsically better, but it is every bit as fascinating. Missile to the Moon is a genuine melting pot of the B movie cliches we've come to love -- cardboard rockets, giant spider puppets, leering juvenile delinquents, lumpy, shambling rock men and a bevy of slinky beauties living on a manless world. And what a cast -- Richard Travis, Cathy Downs, Tommy Cook, Nina Bara, Gary Clarke, Leslie Parrish. Anyone looking for credibility will be sorely disappointed. Anyone looking for a good time will wear this tape out. Acting: C- Atmosphere: D Fun: A+ RETURN TO TOP Navy vs. the Night Monsters (1966) A glowing example of a film that was made ten years too late, this groaner is made watchable by an eclectic cast of TV and B film vets who should have known better. Anthony Eisley and Bobby Van take turns being irksome, and Billy Gray, beloved as Bud on Father Knows Best, has his arm ripped off by an acid-spurting, walking weed. The film also signifies the start of phase two in the career of bleached bombshell Mamie Van Doren. As a top-heavy nurse, she's swapped her slinky teen apparel for Navy issue whites, her trademark flaxen locks cut into contemporary modish bangs. The night monsters themselves, leathery plants that move at a snail's pace, aren't much to speak of, their shock value stymied by the film's equally leaden pacing. Acting: C- Atmosphere: C- Fun: B+ RETURN TO TOP Phantom From Space (1953) This curiously mordant sci fi exercise was the work of W. Lee Wilder, who directed such moribund grade Z outings as Snow Creature, Man Without a Body and Killers From Space. Lee Wilder's stubbornly humorless approach to film making stands in marked contrast to that of his brother Billy who, during roughly the same period, snatched up a closetful of Oscars fro comic classics like The Apartment and Some Like it Hot. Phantom is arguably Lee's best film, enhanced somewhat by location shooting at the Griffith Observatory. The film's one memorable quality stems from Wilders relentlessly poker-faced storytelling -- which is kind of creepy in itself. Acting: C- Atmosphere: C- Fun: C- RETURN TO TOP Project Moon Base (1953) For purely historical reasons, this one makes the cut. For decades, this film fell into what many believe was deserved obscurity. Laughably cheap and ludicrously acted, it was originally pitched as a TV series and is most enjoyable when viewed as a companion to Rocky Jones, Tom Corbett or Captain Video. Set in the future (1970), its novel touches don't quite redeem its inadequacies, but are noteworthy. The commanding officer is a woman (Donna Martell) as is the President of the United States. These sociological breakthroughs are undermined, however, when General Hayden (I Dream of Jeannie) Rorke threatens to spank the female colonel for insubordination. Acting: D Atmosphere: C+ Fun: A RETURN TO TOP Quatermass and the Pit (1967) Arguably the best British sci fi film ever is now available in letterbox format, retaining its original widescreen integrity. Released in the U.S. as Five Million Years to Earth (whatever that means) it easily qualifies as one of the most intriguingly and intricately plotted science fiction films -- Prof. Quatermass (Andrew Kier) discovers the remnants of an alien civilization beneath the London Underground, protected by an unrelenting evil force. The best of the Quatermass series (and its predecessors were quite good in their way) an able cast is sparked by Hammer maiden Barbara Shelley. Acting: A Atmosphere: A+ Fun: A RETURN TO TOP Queen of Outer Space (1958) Its well-deserved reputation as a camp classic precedes the "official" video release of this hastily cobbled tale of a female space rebellion. Kitsch icon Zsa Zsa Gabor leads the fractious faction of Venusian females. It seems the women of Venus have long ago elinamated any need for men, and the forced landing of Eric (Rawhide) Fleming and his quizzical crew tends to undermine their steely celibacy. Director Ed Bernds (World Without End, Valley of the Dragons and numerous Three Stooges shorts) annexed sets, costumes and various bits of previous films to fashion this farrago. Zsa Zsa, in slit gown and Rodeo Drive coiffure is the only woman on Venus with a Hungarian accent. Acting: C Atmosphere: C Fun: A+ RETURN TO TOP The Satan Bug (1965) Edward Anhalt and James (Shogun) Clavell scripted this cautionary saga exploiting the potential dangers of biochemical research. All samples of a horrifically toxic serum vanish from a secret government lab and the thief proceeds to wipe out a portion of Key West as a demonstration of his new-found power. George (Route 66) Maharis is called upon to crack the case. This quintessential 60s pot boiler, crammed with garish colors and zippy crane shots, was directed by John (Magnificent Seven, Great Escape, Gunfight at O.K. Corral) Sturges, whose films are known for their careful building of suspense. The exposition may be a trifle slow for some tastes, but a top-flight cast (Dana Andrews, Anne Francis) keep things interesting with canny Richard Basehart delivering the script's best lines -- "I am psychotic, but I'm not stupid." Acting: A- Atmosphere: B- Fun: B- RETURN TO TOP Seconds (1966) A top-notch cast sparks this thriller from director John Frankenheimer (The Manchurian Candidate, Seven Days In May). A beleaguered businessman (John Randolph) gets a frightening new lease on life when he's transformed into Rock Hudson and begins encountering wrenching emotional conflicts at every turn. Brilliantly photographed by James Wong Howe, the final scene still packs a wallop. Character veterans Will Geer and Jeff Corey enhance the ambience immeasurably. The video re-release is a European cut containing several previously excised moments of nudity and whatnot. Too darn long, but pretty darn good. Acting: A Atmosphere: A- Fun: B+ RETURN TO TOP Tarantula (1955) Future Playmate Mara Corday aids Leo G. Carroll in the lab as he conducts a series of growth experiments. John Agar blows through town in time to tackle the horrific result of Carroll's quackery, a man-eating spider the size of a house. Young Clint Eastwood, his sneering kisser nearly obscured by a flight mask appears as an Air Force pilot. Acting: B Atmosphere: B+ Fun: A RETURN TO TOP Teenage Monster (1958) Once a 1960s TV staple, this simply awful genre-bending fiasco will once more be available in a crisp video print. The film's uneasy combination of western and sci fi themes is enough to provoke a few unintentional laughs. Couple that with a "teenage" monster portrayed by a forty-something stuntman and any wisp of credibility flies right out the window. Saddest of all is the presence of Anne Gwynne, once one of Universal's most promising contractees, capping her career with this decidedly dubious film. The plot scarcely bears recounting -- the shaggy, simple-minded monster, Charlie, is manipulated by a calculating coquette into terrorizing the countryside. Acting: C Atmosphere: D Fun: C- RETURN TO TOP The Unknown Terror (1958) Mala Powers is a distraught wife scouring the steamy jungle for her lost brother. Beyond a snazzy calypso number, nothing much seems to happen in this curiously mordant film. When at last we glimpse the titular man-eating fungi, it's hard to imagine why the native populace is so terrified of what looks to be nothing more than soap suds. Acting: C- Atmosphere: C- Fun: B- RETURN TO TOP When Worlds Collide (1952) George Pal's disaster classic features beautiful Barbara Rush in a showy role. Hardware, jargon and fabulous effects are the dominant elements, but Rush was able to sharpen her screaming skills for her appearance in It Came From Outer Space. Acting: B Atmosphere: B Fun: A- RETURN TO TOP Women of the Prehistoric Planet (1965) John Agar, once the dean of dubious cinema, had begun a slide into relative obscurity by 1965. The following year he starred in Larry Buchanan's indefensible Zontar, the Thing From Venus. Having brought some measure of respectability to any number of inadequate films, it's sad to see him wander wearily amidst the ultra-cheap sets that pass for the Prehistoric Planet. Even sadder is sleepy Wendell Corey, mumbling his way through a thankless role as a starship commander. And keep an eye out for Adam Roarke, The Rockford Files' Stuart Margolin and Merry Anders of The Hypnotic Eye. Only the most devoted B movie maniacs will see the film through to its 'twist' ending. Acting: C- Atmosphere: C- Fun: C+ RETURN TO TOP World Without End (1956) A fistful of late-fifties Allied Artists shockers are at last "officially" available on video. Arguably foremost among them is World Without End, a dystopic future, time travel tale with a modicum of energy and a dose of cheap, gutsy gore. The film chronicles a wayward space flight carrying a squad of intrepid airmen to a future earth where nuclear mutants live above ground, while the terrified beautiful people dwell below. (Sound familiar?) Covetous female eyes are soon cast upon Rod Taylor and Hugh Marlowe, manly vestiges of the planet's fabled past. No stranger to low-finance film making, director Edward Bernds cut his choppers on Three Stooges shorts, and had little trouble churning out myriad films of markedly microscopic budget -- Queen of Outer Space, Valley of the Dragons and High School Hellcats to name but a few. Acting: B- Atmosphere: B- Fun: B+ RETURN TO TOP